The Memory Room

By adulthood, most of us have attended a funeral. But what is a funeral like for a child or teenager who unexpectedly loses a parent, sibling, grandparent or friend? And how do children say goodbye? What do they need, and how can families and funeral services address their needs?

Too often, kids feel like the “forgotten mourners.” They are seen but not heard or spoken to at a funeral.

At the Lachapelle Funeral Home, we spend a great deal of time listening to what families and experts say regarding a healthy grieving process for children and we have created a child focused program that will address their needs at this difficult time.

Today, experts agree that the healthiest approach is to include children in funeral rituals. Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a noted psychiatrist, said "if they are old enough to love, they are old enough to grieve." Although it is natural for adults to want to protect children from the harsh reality of death, denying children an opportunity to be part of remembering and saying goodbye prevents them the opportunity to grow.  A child's fantasies about death and burial can also be dispelled by the reality of the funeral service which will help him or her develop a healthy and realistic attitude about death. How children grieve and participate in the funeral service will help determine how they will face future sorrows.

What to Expect

Involving Children

If you choose to involve your child(ren) in the process you would first schedule a time to meet with the Director of Bereavement Services to discuss the program at length.  During this meeting age appropriate information will be provided on how to talk to your child(ren) about death and the funeral service.  A time would then be scheduled before the service for your child(ren) to come into the Memory Room.

In the Memory Room the Director of Bereavement will support your child(ren) as they create meaningful and personal tributes to their loved ones.  Some examples may be creating artwork to put in the casket or on display, making a collage, writing poetry or letters to be read aloud or placed in the casket, creating memory boxes, mementos or decorating personalized items of the deceased.  The process provides your child(ren) the opportunity to be as creative as they choose and allows them the opportunity to ask questions and/or talk about the funeral process and their loved one.    

Kid Focused Touches

Children often remember the more tangible events at services. The Lachapelle Funeral Home also offers environmentally-friendly balloon releases that can signify the end of the funeral or the circle of life.

All of the above-services are free of charge.